.. so what I did.

I got into bed probably immediately after posting. I started reading to take my mind away from whatever and then decided to call it a night. I woke up around 12:15 and did the one hour of mind racing and difficulty falling back asleep. Waking up to your comments really uplifted me, and those that I received during the day. In between class periods, I’d check my phone in my drawer and see that I had another comment. I could feel the support and I appreciate it so so much.

I am almost positive that I will take Monday off. My best friend will be visiting here this weekend and I do not want to find myself stressing over WHATEVER it may be – a day off could do me well. I just want to enjoy the company and have a fab weekend.

I did a pretty decent, NOT spectacular, 8 mile run. 1 mile easy warm up, 6 mile long tempo @ 9:35, 1 mile cool down. Overall pace with the warm up and cool down was approximately 9:47. I was pretty beat from the day and was playing the “you can just go home and sit on the couch” game, but I knew that a run will do me good despite whether it is great or not. It was exciting to use my new garmin and instantly see the overall pace – I liked playing the “watch the pace drop” game, or rather “don’t make it go too far up” haha. The weather was good too. I got a huge gust of wind coming back which slowed me down a bit, but in SF, you gotttaaaa train in wind (as I realized at the Embarcadero 10k).

After writing out what I was feeling last night, I came across a theme to what’s been bringing me down – and that is basing happiness on the approval from another. I know that avoiding this is something that one really works on for their lifetime and I in no way can solve it right now. But, I spent some time thinking about what it is that brings me utter joy and happiness and the progress I’ve made since well, moving out here, but even recently right before starting this blog. Focusing on this made me able to re-center and move forward. Granted, baby steps. But moving forward nonetheless. There is a song by Ray Lamontague called Be Here Now and it just hit home what I was feeling and needed to do. I am pretty confident that the weekend and the day off will serve me well. Oh and what I did…

So what did I do?

I registered for the Oakland Half Marathon! After debating about it for a few weeks, I really couldn’t come up with a con that would outdo the PRO of basically being able to WALK to the starting line and running in the neighborhood of where I do my weekend runs, in the neighborhood of my students, and in the locations that Oakland calls “home.” It was really a no brainer and bound to happen. I just needed to get the finances in place and once I did, it was like cake….AND…

I registered for the Emerald Across the Bay 12k which I will run with Maritza! We talked about this last weekend on the run and it seemed like a great run since I should be tapering the week before the half. I am really excited to have a running buddy, and a possible KICKBOXING buddy!! I’ve been wanting to do some KB and since a couple forms of cross training and weight training are off limits because of my hand (still sore to grip tightly anything, esp. handweights or the erg) it sounds great!!

Again, really, the outreach was amazing. I hope that I can provide the support that you need, too πŸ™‚

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11 Responses to .. so what I did.

  1. wooooooot for signing up for races πŸ™‚

    great tempo. it sounds like your putting mr. garmin to good use πŸ™‚

  2. It’s so hard to not worry about pleasing other people… I 100% understand and haven’t figured out how to not get worn down by trying to anticipate others’ reactions over and over. But, it’s great that you can recognize that as something you have to watch for. But us bloggy folks think you’re fantastic so you don’t have to worry about us πŸ˜‰ Have a great time with your friend!

  3. Lacey says:

    can’t beat walking to the start line!!!!!!!!!!

    i always need something exciting to look forward to. otherwise i get caught up in day to day mundane-ity and lose focus.

  4. aron says:

    YES you do not need approval from others girl… you are fabulous and anyone who doesn’t see that isnt worth your time anyways πŸ™‚

    YAY races!! Tara will be doing the oakland half too!

  5. i totally want to come cheer you on at your oakland half race, that is awesome!! isn’t it funny how seeing a little comment pop up on your phone just lifts your spirits? hope you havea g reat weekend, stay dry!

  6. kbwood says:

    oh man i used to be the biggest people pleaser, thank God i was released from that bc its soo stressful! you are AWESOME and you do what you want!! have a great wkn lovely!

  7. kbwood says:

    PS- i def journal!! I LOVE IT! i keep a prayer journal too!! what do you do?

    • I don’t have a real routine, so what I actually do varies. Right now, journaling is what has helped me. or just sitting and thinking when they day is over – but journaling is better for me. Sometimes my mind can wander πŸ™‚

  8. Good luck with the races girl!!
    And I do hope things get better for you. I also struggle with that, your own happiness based on the approval of others. But girl, as hard as it is, you have to let that go. Because you can’t always make everyone happy. And even if you do, that won’t always make you happy. Try to think about YOU and what will make YOU happy and let others worry about themselves. πŸ˜€
    Isn’t it so awesome how comments can be so uplifting?!

  9. YAY 12k! We should car pool! I can pick you up on the way in!

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