This post will focus on how signing up and participating in this relay affected me before I even realized its impact.
Let’s back up pre-blog and I’ll set the scene. It was weeks after California International Marathon(Dec 6th, 2009) and winter break was approaching. With the marathon and the break around the corner, I was on an ultimate high. Until I hopped onto a treadmill a few weeks after CIM and I was struck with a tight IT band that sent me to the sidelines for about a month. Without running, things started to crumble and it felt like my little world came crashing. I had spent months building my base, accomplishing that goal, and was ready for more. Things started to seem “right” in California, ya know. In my ideal world, I would have liked to bounce back after CIM. Instead, I was a depressed mess picking up the pieces of what I saw as a significant part of my identity. I did my fair share of moping and as I look back, it seemed pretty pathetic. Sigh.
Maybe it was the New Year approaching and I had to start thinking about what I really wanted. Rather, what was it about running ceasing that caused my world to blow up?? It took a lot of soul searching, and I realized that I needed to use running to become better at experiencing life and love and happiness…and faith. I used running as an end in itself, instead of a means. So, when it was taken away from me, I hadn’t been aware of all that running had provided for me besides crossing a finish line and checking off a goal. Granted, I loved running. I just needed to use it to experience happiness.
So the natural next question is how does one experience happiness when finishing a b*&#^ of a track run, or falling and splitting open your hand, or getting side stitches 2 miles into a half marathon, or getting blown away at mile 10 of a possible PR…
You experience it because you get the hell out there and try again.
…and that’s what I did. I used that soul searching at home in NY to figure out what I could do with my running to become a better person to all.
I saw Bobbi’s request for teammates for the Ragnar Relay and in late December, I emailed her with a YES, not yet knowing any details about what I would be getting involved with. And that simple YES to the call for runners was (as corny as it sounds) a YES to many other things that have occurred over the past few months. I started a blog a few weeks later…and that’s where you met me. It has been a whirlwind to see the progression and accomplishment, but what has been more remarkable is the growth that I have in the relationship with myself: a self-confidence and self-love that has allowed me to handle those ups and downs that come. As an individual who had to settle in a new part of the country, I finally feel OK with the choices I have made and continue to make, and even the blunders I make 🙂
In retrospect, this “event” (Ragnar) could have been anything, but what makes it even more special is that I met many beautiful individuals. The four months were a “work in progress” as I tried to recover and move forward in running and life in general. I appreciate everyone’s loyalty to my blog and giving me an outlet to reflect on an often basis, with feedback and questions that have pushed me beyond my own mindset. I cannot wait to see what the upcoming months have in store and where I will go with this base of mine 🙂 It is quite exciting.
I thought I’d get the sappy-esq post out of the way before I write the logistics and the FUN weekend that had me either in a car or on foot for 4 days straight seeing the beautiful state of California. It won my heart all over again.
What have you said YES to that changed the course of your life? (job, relationship, school, event…etc.)